Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
