I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize