Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Boobs are out for the taking
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
