yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
