id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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