hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
