Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
