Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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