At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
