Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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