Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
