Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
