the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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