No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
So gin and wine won't be happening again
His hands were made for my vagina.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
