May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You peed on a flamingo?!?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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