I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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