then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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