dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
