jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
