she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize