ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
