Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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