If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize