I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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