I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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