You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
