you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize