i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
