you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Randomize
