Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She announced her abortion via fbk
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
