Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
