you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
