Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
