I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
