so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
