Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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