True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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