she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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