Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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