I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Quick, to the slutcave!
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
