I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i need some magic done to my vagina
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
