you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
