is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
