Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
