My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize