i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
