We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
