i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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