i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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