Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
