she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
