we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
