it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
