its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
