I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Let's paint friendship bongs
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
