therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
