We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Randomize