I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize