even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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