I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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