When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize