We won't sleep together?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
