do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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