You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
