he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
