if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
