I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I need a beard to bite.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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