Too much gin, very little bucket
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
