They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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