Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
birth control should be required to get into college
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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