Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
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