What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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