i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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